Houston, we have a problem | Did I do that?

This past week I’ve been a magnet for negativity and didn’t realize it until this morning.

Honestly, it was a pebble turned bolder rolling down a long hill that I didn’t notice was increasing in size and force until it was too late.

It took patience and stepping away (that I am currently in the midst of) to really see my part in the madness.

I hadn’t been still at all – only thought I was and until the proverbial shit hit the fan did I realize my mistakes.

I’m no martyr, I am by no means responsible for the situation itself, I’m merely accepting and acknowledging my role in the sorted series of events.

Sometimes there’s an inner voice that you miss because you’re begging so loudly.

Today I’m still.

I jumped back into the routine that I had neglected for four full days (not to mention my hormones – no wonder I’ve been  so wired), and focused on stilling my mind and settling my spirit.

‘Que sera, sera’ is my motto, also, what’s done is done.

The only thing I can do at this point is act correctly.

“Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it”

Thank God for yoga

Be easy

Frustrations are high tonight and I feel like I am getting pushed

Sometimes I feel like certain people in this house try to push me into episodes or something.
Or is it that my illness isn’t taken seriously?
I don’t know,  I am just tired of being tried then having to push my rage down. 
One day I may not be strong enough to do so,  it may be the wrong day or the wrong end of an episode and I will let someone have it.
I don’t want to do that,  but it almost seems inevitable if there aren’t some changes made immediately.
How do you get understanding for something that’s difficult to understand without putting lots of effort to do so?
I mean,  a person cannot understand bipolar from reading (skimming) a few mediocre articles on the subject.
Don’t get me started on the ‘problems comparisons’ that certain conversations turn into…
Ugh,  I am so friggin frustrated right now.
Please stop pushing,  poking and prodding me!