I don’t think my father has much time left

Just got back from hospice. Dad wouldn’t eat today and was in and out of consciousness all afternoon. He mentioned fish and how to cook it, but wouldn’t eat any when they brought it to him. He’d keep saying he’d east some, but would say ‘,not yet’ when offered food.
He is drinking water though.
A little anyways.
He’s still in pain (about an 8 he said when they asked), and even grimaces from it in his sleep.
The cancer hurts and so do the blood clots in his extremities.
He is still filling the urine bag so his kidneys and bladder are still working and his breathing is faster than usual and a little shallow, it isn’t labored.
His right arm is still swollen, but his left has gone down considerably, but they both hurt and he has trouble moving them.
He’s confused and mumbles to himself.
Doesn’t respond and/or understand many questions either.
My dad is going.
But he won’t admit it.
He keeps saying he will deal with things later.
Today, sitting there I wanted to be a source of comfort but I also felt incredibly sad.
This is THE hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life.

View on Path

On a personal note | 30 days in & lots of yoga

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30 Days of Cleansing

Next Thursday, the 5th of September will mark 30 days of cleansing for me.

Really more than that, but this latest cleanse will be 30 days in by then.

I’m proud of myself for sticking with it.

The only transgression I had was some french fries the other day – and they were disgusting – I don’t know what I thought I was missing but needless to say, I didn’t finish them.

Blech!

Otherwise, it’s been a very clean, very well documented journey thus far.

I don’t want to fail.

I’m being as transparent as I possibly can on this platform, and that’s a challenge for me because I’m very private 🙂

But, I know that unless I’m honest with what I’m sharing, I won’t be successful.

So that’s that.

Yoga

I’m really enjoying yoga this time around.

It’s funny because I couldn’t get into it before.

I guess I’ve grown 😉

Something about it makes me feel in control of my body – like I am slowly molding it to do the things I want it to.

I can feel myself getting more and more flexible each day.

Not to mention spiritually.

I feel such a deep connection with…something.

Something deeper and bigger than I could ever be.

That thing we go home to when we leave this plane – that thing.

Such a light, airy, peaceful feeling despite the chaos that is my life right now.

‘Calm Chaos’ is what I’m calling my yoga practice, lol – because it’s how I really feel about my life at this present moment – not that I would trade it for a thing – I’m thankful for my experience in this life, but it’s just so tough sometimes.

I’m just an earthling.

I’m happy that I’ve found yoga, or that it found me – which ever way it goes.

Personally speaking…

In my personal life, things have come to a head recently & haven’t quite been dealt with completely – though not through lack of effort.

Observation is the best teacher.

Life is to be lived, not calculated.

Self preservation extends to your mental, emotional as well as your physical, my loves.

Don’t forget that.

Be easy,

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Tough Times and Menstrual Cramps? | There’s a tea for that!

It’s been pretty rough in my personal life since last week and to add to things my monthly showed up yesterday and you know what that means…

Cramps!

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Having menstrual pain makes dealing with stressful personal issues even tougher.

Thankfully, the hubs and I concocted a tea for menstrual cramps that really works!

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Here’s what you’ll need:

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chamomile

*(most of these items can be found in your local grocery store but the more exotic ones can be found here in my Amazon aStore.  The linked products lead you to purchase.)

Bring approx. 12 oz of water to a boil and throw in your sliced ginger root and turn down to med-low heat, pour in your olive oil and simmer for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, take your crushed mint leaves, maca powder, bagged chamomile flowers and garcinia powder and place them in your mug.

Once your ginger has simmered for 20 minutes or so, pour the hot ginger tea into the mug with your powders, flowers and leaves and let seep until it’s cool enough to drink without burning your mouth.

You can also add some type of all natural sweetener to your tastes – I usually don’t sweeten my teas.

Give the tea around 15-20 minutes to kick in and start soothing away your cramps.

While you wait you can give yourself a uterine massage to help with the pain or some menstrual cramp friendly yoga moves.

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In regard to my tough week + weekend…

I’ve been fighting hard not to fall into a depression – I don’t feel as if I am, thankfully, but it’s still tough to stay positive and centered in the midst of trials.

I’m thankful that I have been disciplined when it comes to eating right and doing my daily yoga and my daily gratitude prayers at sunrise and sunset as well.

It helps me a lot and I am certain is what is keeping my moods from sinking too low.

There are moments though, that I feel sad and negative about things, but I understand this is just the process I am going through to get past it, make sense of it and learn from it until it passes – because it will pass!

I may not have all the answers, but I know that time heals all things so right now, time is my friend and I am going to try embracing this experience and make decisions on my future with a calm and gentle heart.

I’ll just keep eating good and clinging to my yoga – my refuge.

Not to mention, keep drinking this tea!

My annual 12 week 'Everything Cleanse' starts tomorrow!